written by Fr. Dwight Longenecker for his blog "Standing on My Head"
Comments on Cohabitation
Every pastor will agree that marriage prep in our day present some impossible moments. The fact is, the majority of couples who present themselves for marriage in the Catholic Church are co-habiting. Furthermore, they don't see any problem with it, and seem rather surprised when the priest challenges them on their living situation. I have recently come across some good priestly comments when presented with cohabiting couples who want to be married in church.
See what you think:1. I'm so glad you want to get married. That's certainly the right thing to do as you are already living together. The church is free next Saturday at 2:00. The two of you turn up with a couple of witnesses and we'll tie the knot. Of course, since you're already living together it would be artificial and pretty tacky for you to have a big, fancy wedding, so there's no need to have all those bridesmaids and groomsmen and limousines and so forth. You'll also save yourselves a lot of money. So is that settled then?2. So let me get this straight. The two of your are living together and having sex right? To the girl: Are you sure you really want to get married to a man who is has sex outside of marriage? If he treats marriage so lightly what reason have you to think that he would change after marriage? To the guy: Ditto.
Usually the couple offer the excuse that it is cheaper for them to live together.
3. So you're living (and sleeping) together because of economic reasons? In other words, living together is cheaper than living separately and sex is part of the deal? This means money is more important to you than sexual morality. Look at it another way, you're being financially rewarded for having sex outside marriage. Many people would have another name for this. To the guy: is this the sort of girl you want?4. To the girl: Help me understand: you decided to move in with this guy so that you would help pay the rent and utilities. He gets sex whenever he wants it, (because of course you are using contraception) and I wonder who ends up doing most of the housework and washing and cooking and shopping? You get all the responsibility of marriage, but no security, no legal status and he could drop you whenever he wants--maybe with a baby on the way? And you call this women's liberation?For the rest of the post click here: Standing on My Head
See what you think:
Usually the couple offer the excuse that it is cheaper for them to live together.
3. So you're living (and sleeping) together because of economic reasons? In other words, living together is cheaper than living separately and sex is part of the deal? This means money is more important to you than sexual morality. Look at it another way, you're being financially rewarded for having sex outside marriage. Many people would have another name for this. To the guy: is this the sort of girl you want?
